South America

After the hell of Torres del Pain we set off to another famous hiking town, El Chaltén, home of the Fitz Roy mountain range. It is officially Argentinas newest town, founded in 1985, and it shows, because they are still building all the roads, post office, shops etc. In the morning, at breakfast, Dee had a couple of handfuls of the "Fruity Loop" type cereal which is right at the back of the breakfast box because they taste like boiled sweets and look like someone smashed a rainbow and covered it in E numbers and sugar. This probably wasnt the best idea because 30 minutes later on the truck when everyone was trying to sleep, Dee turned into a hyper-active giggling child. She was screaming and sniggering and talking complete rubbish. Everyone else on the truck was confused who this new loud, annoying group member was. I put on my mp3 player and pretended to be asleep, but it was hard not to notice the ADHD sufferer sitting next to me. At the next stop everyone agreed that Dee should be banned from eating that cereal again.

The weather when we arrived was sunny, which we were told was a rare thing for that part of the country. Instead of walking up the mountain range we decided to pay for the optional extra of walking on a glacier. We had been so impressed by the Moreno glacier that we were keen to see one close up. The boat trip started early so we could see the sunrise over the beautiful icebergs on the Viedma Lake. We stopped at the end of the glacier and walked a short way to the edge of the glacier. We put on our supplied crampons over our walking boots and stepped onto the glacier. The crampons are great fun to walk about on ice with. They make you feel like spiderman - you can walk up near-vertical slopes and stick to the ground with no problem. The surface of glacier wasnt as clean as the one we had seen before - I think this area is very windy and it blows sand and dirt onto the surface, but the crevices were a dark, dark blue colour where the ice is so old and compressed and it glowed from the sunlight penetrating the glacier. We stomped around with our crampons for a bit and got to an ice cave for a photo opportunity. The guides broke some ice off the glacier and served us Baileys on the (glacier) rocks, which was lovely. We did a bit of ice climbing and Dee kept pretending she needed help because she fancied the curly-haired guide, and then headed back.

The next day we were going to go for a walk up a mountain, but it rained, so unfortuntely we sat on the truck all day and played cards and drank wine. Luca managed to call the hostel we were at previously and arrange for someone to bring my jacket to El Chaltén, so in return we bought Luca a bad hat, which he loved.

That night the kitten, which has been running around the campsite in the cold, got into our tent somehow and slept in my sleeping bag. Dee quite liked the little thing, I think I can turn her into a cat lover eventually.

So after the PAIN of torres we head back to civilisation and to, wait for it, modern day luxury. A "matrimonial" (double room to you and me) with ensuite shower/toilet and most of a bloody bed to soothe my aching body. I am physically shattered and my feet look like pig trotters as the toes have been eaten away by blisters. Well I exagerate a little but its not pleasant, so stright to the shower and a home DIY pedicure - lush!

After another pasta rich, carb loaded, home cooked stodge dish off the truck I went to the room to read my book and relax. Ollie found me 5 mins later snoring, book on face and a slight trickle of attractive drool pooling on the pillows, he tried to wake me, he got an earfull.

El Calafate is the closest town to the Perito Moreno Glacier in Los Glaciares National Park, our next stop on the trip. Its also famous for this little bush that grows berries that they make tea and jam out of. Its said that if you eat or drink the berry you will return to El Calafate one day. Shame it tastes like absolute dog dirt, but it is quite a nice town.

So next day we are greeted by our nice tour guide for the day and head towards the glacier. Of course, we have seen them in Torres, but we had to hike uphill miles, which somewhat took the pleasure out of it, and they were a little grey in colour. This time, as we came round the corner we were greeted by a milky turquoise glacial lake bathed in sunshine and what looked like fluffy white meringue on top and deep icy blue flowing into the cracks. Its stunning and the best thing Ive seen so far.

This glacier is the 3rd largest in south america but its the only one that is not retreating and stable. Its 250km long, and the point you view is 5 km wide, with an average height of 60 meters above the surface of the water and 170m below. It advances at a speed of up to 2 m per day but loses at the same rate so you are always going to see the amazing spectacle of pieces breaking into the lake.

The night before it had rained non stop and now the sun was blazing making conditions perfect for ice fall as the rain water heats in the deep cracks. From the platform view point you can her first the crack (like thunder) and then start to see small drips then a massive piece break off. They can been thrown meters away and cause massive waves. We also saw a piece that had broken off from the floor of the glacier rise to the top of the lake, it rose half way up the height of the glacier and was the deepest richest blue colour and MASSIVE, the boat near it had to move fast and looked like a micro machine compared to the giant iceberg.

We took a boat trip on the glacial lake to 200m away from the front of the glacier. We saw a massive wall of ice fall in and everyone on the boat ran to the other side with the fright of the load cracking noise and growing tidal wave. Only me and Ollie ran to the front of the boat to get the best view, I did debate that I may get wet but assumed it would be worth it, however, the captain skillfully maneuvered the boat to ride the wave and we barely felt it.

Ill stop yabbering on about frozen water now, but, it really was magnificent.

So last night in El Calafate we were all excited still from the daytrip so headed into town for dinner. This, as usual with myself and Ollie, turned into after dinner, drinks, cocktails, shots and dodgy club. Carlos and Big Head our new buddies, joined us in making drunken idiots of ourselfs in the casino at half 4 in the morning. I was thinking I was on a massive roll on the slot machines in the casino. It took ages to load about 50 coins in each time (totalling about 10p English) but each time I kept winning! - an hour I played like this until I learned the wheels never turned and the spanish word for ´cancel´was on the button I played with. Damn, my dreams were shattered.

We slept through the alarm, the tour guide woke us with one minute to pack and leave. I had to do the walk of shame to the bus in last nights clothes and makeup streaked cheeks. Ollie left his only waterproof winter jacket at the hotel as we were heading into Los Glaciares national park, it rains a lot, there is ice, its cold, good move. Im glad we paid extra to have a double room that night and not a dorm, the 1.5hr sleep I got in bed that night really worth the money. ;(

Off deeper into Los Glaciares national park.....

This leg of the journey, from Ushuaia to Santiago, is where we do a lot of the hiking. There are 3 big walking destinations; Tierra del Fuego (which we only did a short 2 hour walk to the beavers dam), Torres Del Paine and Los Glaciares National Park. We have told ourselves that this is the leg when we are going to get fit and stop drinking so much.

We had 3 days in Torres Del Paine National Park. The approach was spectacular. The mountain range is the end of the Andes, which is a 7000km long mountain range that spans pretty much the whole of South America. We cross it and climb it and slide down it many times in the next few months. The Torres Del Paine range sticks out of the landscape like giant mr whippy 99 ice cream which could be seen for miles away. We sat on the roof on the way in to get the full effect of the size of the range. It was pretty cold up there but it was worth it.

When we got to the campsite we got a good spot in a little hut to protect us from the wind then 3 of us decided to climb up a hill overlooking the campsite to get a better view of the mountain range. The walk was a tough uphill stuggle followed by some rock climbing at the end to get right to the top of an out crop. We were knackered but proud of ourselves and figured it was good practice for the next day.

How wrong we were. The first walk was to see the 3 towers, which is the main walk of Torres. We were enthusiastic when we set off, wearing our walking boots for the first time, with my hydration bladder in my bag, thermals, fleece, goretex jacket, packed lunch and bar of chocolate. The walk was in 3 parts. The first was a steep but boring incline up the side of a mountain. My lungs were burning after about half an hour and to make it worse the sun had come out and it was boiling hot, completely the opposite of what we expected. Who climbs a mountain to see a glacier and expects it to be hot? We had to take all our layers off and then carry them for the rest of the journey. After the first hour we didnt appear to be any closer to our destination, and everyone in the group had gone ahead of us, but the route changed to a more foresty and less steep walk. After over an hour walking uphill, walking downhill felt gooooood.

The second part of the walk took an hour and went by a river. The views werent very spectacular, but most of the time we were looking at our feet anyway and wishing it was over. The third part of the walk was a boulder scramble to the top. When the glacier had melted hundreds of years ago, it had left huge boulders which were very hard to climb over. By the time we had crawled to the top it would have to be a f··king amazing sight to make this pain worthwhile. Fortunately the 3 towers had been covered in cloud all day and had just cleared as we got to the top. There was a little glacial lake and a waterfall and the rest of the group were there to greet us. It was nice and quiet and we had a chance to chill out, put down our stuff and enjoy the view. The relief was only sullied by the fact that we had to pick up all our stuff again and travel another 3 hours down the mountain to get back. By the time we got back, Dees feet had turned to bloody stumps and my legs felt like jelly. We collapsed on the grass and people cheered as we arrived. It was one of the worst experiences I had been through, not just on this trip, but ever. I dont think me and Dee are natural ramblers.

On the second day everyone set off to do the French Valley walk, but we decided to go horse riding instead, with the rest of the blistered people. The views of the range from the plains were amazing and we even got the horses to canter, but me, dee and a couple of others had the older horses and eventually everyone else had trotted off and left us with the retirement party horses to slowly amble the last hour and refuse to go any faster, no matter how hard we kicked them.

We were tempted not to go out on the third day, but I really wanted to see the glacier so I forced Dee to come on another walk to the Grey Glacier. As soon as we set off Dees blisters were in pain and she was in a bad mood. She refused to talk to me until we got to the first viewpoint for the glacier, 2 hours into the walk. We had lunch and headed back to the bar at the bottom of the mountain. She cheered up after a buy-one-get-one-free pisco sour

We left Torres with the understanding that we are not good hikers...

Finally we have arrived at the most southerly town in the world, its been long (5989km) and painful getting here and people are definately trucked out but glad to be here. Special moment for all of us as we all stared together in Rio and travelled all the way down togther and this marks the end of the first leg where 10 people leave and 10 people join.

Pulling into Ushuaia was strange, as I was expecting ice, snow and general cold but the weather (although I had my ski jacket on) was rather mild, they keep reminding me its summer. We all did the tourist poses at the towns entrance then put up the tent -again. Our tent has leaked everytime its rained and basically I was fed up of having a tent shower in the night so I nicked one of the girls tents who was leaving the trip the next day. I felt a little guilty knowing some new excited fellow traveller would get our damp leaking cast off, but then "snooze you lose", right?!

At the campsite the owner is "Mr Steak", soon as we pulled up he was beating 3 (dead) cows into steak sized portions. The other option was fish, with head and bones, so I had my lettuce and bread and lots of Argentinian red wine. As it was the official last night of the first leg we partied hard saying good bye to "Team Oz - youre awesome!". There was a columbian family staying at the campsite and they had all their mates down celebrating their daughters 3rd birthday, so we headed down to the Rio Pipo for a folktastic fiesta. I never knew I could drum, but few glasses of wine and I rocked that bass beat. It was cold so a large fire kept us dancing and drumming into the morning dawn. Perfect last night, difficult saying bye to people youve lived with for the past month but excitment at meeting the next lot!

The next day all the "newbees"arrived. They all had on serious hiking gear and me and Ollie both gulped - maybe this leg was the party leg and now the serious hard work begins?! In fact, none of them were still drunk from the night before - maybe things are gonna be a changing :S

Chance for a quick shopping expedition in town - I didnt buy anything but Ollie has the whole of Ushuaia now packed in his bag. One sleeìng mat, thats not enough for his delicate hips, he HAD to buy the deluxe self inflating quilted 8cm thick matress. I have his punctured cast off. Plus, trainers, head torch etc, etc. At least he was happy.

The afternoon was spent eating free cakes and cookies on board a boat taking us down the Beagle Straight to the famous Faro lighthouse. We saw yet more sealions and sea birds but no dolphins. A little overpriced for what it was but worthwhile doing - if not for the free cake.

Then off to my most challening restaurant of all time. Ushuaia is famous for King Crab. What happened last time I ate crab - yeah thats right, great big swollen puffy face and general illness. So, salad and bread again and trying not to breathe in fumes. Ollie said it tasted pretty brilliant though.

The next day was an early start to Tierra del Fuego national park. Part owned by Chile we went to the Argentinian side and did an american style natinal park visit. Coach, guide, half hr drive, 100m walk to cafe, 20 min drive, 5 min walk to a tourist spot. Didnt really enjoy the way our trip ran but did get to see the worlds most southerly post office and saw a beaver dam.

Off to Chile tomorrow, the second leg of our adventure. The walking bit, the glacier bit, mmm, exercise and cold. My blog entries may be quite rude and grumpy from now on. Better stock up on that Vino Tinto.

P.S. It was the 29th while we were here so I proposed to Ollie, if the man says no, you get a present. The bugger said yes, no present, dont start panicking dad - I was NOT serious. Just wanted some jewellery, chocolates, wine.........etc

So on through Patagonia, via Santa Cruz on our way to Ushuaia. Boiling hot day and 600km to cover we take a teatime break near Fitz Roy to see the natural monument - Petrified Forest. Between two volcanoes lies the remains of a fossilised jurrasic forest covering 15000 hectares. Due to the volcanic minerals the wood was fossilised, many huge coniferous tree trunks have been uncovered, many still lie under the surface. They have amazing colours, almost like brown gemstones and are easily the width of a car. Although a hot walk, it's well recommended. Dont remove any stones though - its punishable by a prison sentence. Jenna was strip searched on the way out because a guide saw her bend down and touch a pebble.

Just round the corner we found a small campsite (of the kind where a flushing toilet qualifies you as a campsite even ifs its never seen bleach) and set up camp.

There's been a running theme the past couple of weeks, an obsession with 'molitos' (armadillos). For a strange reason we all have a fondness for the strange creatures - so imagine - first surprise, then horror, then simple fascination as two locals were BBQing freshly caught & killed molitos. Everone jumped out the truck and started questioning (a sharp stick through the top of the head then slit the throat if you're wondering). In my personal inspection, only bowels are removed prior to cooking, eaten with head & offal!

When in Rome - yeah, I tried it, piece the size of a pea, tastes like 100yr old red meat with salt and fish. Ollie who had been coo-ing over and hand feeding these cuties the day before was happily knawing his way through a leg, skin, claws n' all. He liked it. I didn't eat much for tea - felt sick.

Early night for me as i was quite partied out, so snuck into the tent early. It was a warm night so I just needed my sleeping bag. Ollie woke me as he came in, his head torch making shadows on the canvas- when I saw it (no, not that - behave), I saw two living creature shadows- Ollie with something on his shoulder with a big body and MASSIVE legs. So I screamed, told him not to move (didn't want it falling on me) and got the hell out of there in one breath. I didn't however realise my scream would wake everone up and they would find me half undressed outside the tent in full glare of many headtorches - not even matching underwear- the shame! Couple of guys dived into the tent to rescue Ollie who was still searching for the 'thing' not realising it was still happily sat on his shoulder! Not quite sure what it was- maybe a cicada, but being big and insecty is enough for me to justify my reaction. Did I mention I hate camping?! One month down- 4.5 to go!

In the province of Chubut we stopped at a national park where you can walk amongst the penguins. The park is called Cabo Dos Bahias and is 1649km from Buenos Aires.

Walking with the penguins was one of my highlights of the trip so far. They absolutely stink, but they are really inquisitive and look funny. Dee walked around with her headband over her nose to stop the smell and then complained there were too many flies, so went to sit on the truck while i ran around trying to take pics of the penguins. I wish I had a zoom lens for my camera as I could have taken some really good close up shots. I had to make do by leaning off the walkway as much as possible and shove my camera in the penguins faces.

That night we bush camped on a beach and the weather turned cold for the first time, as we all huddled around wearing our winter gear. The weather was also really windy so we had to find large stones to hold the tents down. A couple of people found scorpions when they picked up the stones, which was cool.

One thing I didn't mention about Patagonia is the random truck stops to look for meat. There you are driving in the middle of a flat windy treeless grassland having gone 4 hr or more with nothing but the odd windturn to look at when officials stop you. They come onto the truck looking for any meat products-including searching the bags for it. I often carry the odd bit of raw mince in my handbag in case I get peckish! Its the foot and mouth risk apparently.

We drove for 19 hours (1085km) to get to Puerto Madryn and make up our missed day due to the mechanics not bolting the wheels of the truck on properly. This town is our main stop off point for visiting Patagonia and the Valdez Penninsular. The countryside here is very sparse and boring. There are thousands and thousands of acres of just nothing except sandy bushes, so we played poker on the truck to while away the hours. After a late meal when we arrived at the campsite, we went to bed early.

Puerto Madryn is one of 3 towns in this area which have Welsh names. The town itself was founded by Welsh colonists and it was funny seeing the red dragon proudly displayed at on monuments and buildings.

The next day we went to the Valdez Penninsular, which has exactly the same scenery apart from a few colonies of sea lions, penguins, elephant seals and killer whales. This is the actual place where the BBCs Planet Earth filmed the amazing footage of a killer whale coming up onto the shore to catch the baby seals.

The weather was cold and misty, but the penguins were cool (but unbelievably smelly) and we could only just about see the seals through the mist. The best thing for me though, was the armadillos running around the car park. They dont seem to mind being touched by tourists and I had some bread, which I fed to them. We had been dying to see "molitas" since we failed to see one in Carlos Pellegrini and now we could poke and play with them, which was really cool. We didnt see any killer whales.

In the evening we went out for Rikkis birthday (again) and got very drunk. We did see a big shooting star while stumbling back to the campsite, which was nice. Shorty made a wish to see another shooting star, which she did see the next night, and that made her happy. My wish was to see more monkeys, but that request has yet to come to fruition.

We were reluctant to leave BA after such a short amount of time, we would both love to come back sometime, especially on a weekend, but we were scheduled to leave the hussle and bustle of city life and head into deepest darkest Patagonia and bush camp for the night. We had left BA for only about an hour and I had fallen asleep to the soothing rocking motion of the truck (as usual), when a loud bang had woken everyone up. It sounded like the road surface had changed, or we had got a puncture. We looked out the left window to see 2 of the back wheels overtake us and shoot into the opposite side of the motorway! The truck was running along on its back axel. There was a degree of panicking going on (and maybe a bit of swearing) in the truck as 2 cars coming the opposite direction had to swerve out of the way to avoid the huge incoming wheels as we pulled into the grassy central reservation. Luckily, Luca had done an excellent job of stopping the truck safely and a few cars from the other side of the road had stopped and the drivers had either started to run after the wheels, or stood around to laugh and watch.

Everyone had to get out and stand on the side of the road while we waited 2 hours in the pouring rain to wait for a taxi to take us all to a nearby cafe to chill out. We kept our spirits up by singing "The wheels on the truck go round and round, round and round, round and round. The wheels on the truck go round and round and then fall off!"

We savoured the unexpected luxury of staying in a hotel for another night, but we had to leave at 3am to make up for lost time, so we decided to stay up drinking and playing cards and then sleep on the truck. It seemed like a good idea at the time, but probably wasnt.

So finally arrived in Buenos Aires after a couple of very very long drives. Instantly loved BA due to its European feel - a lot like Barcelona. After the bushcamps I was soooo excited to be met with an ensuite room. Running water, hot shower, A BED and real towels -not the shammy leathers called travel towels that move water around without actually drying anything. Yeah, they´re quick drying because they never get bloody wet.....anyway.

Five hair shampoos later and I'm throwing on the bling because tonight is party night! We have 3 birthdays to celebrate within the group while we stay in BA.

We all gather in the Irish bar (cliché I know but not a personal choice) and head off to get dinner, all in different taxis, the drivers of which thought racing each other was fun - they drive CRAZY here. No one eats till 11pm or later here so nights are always long. Massive carcasses hang over a real fire in the restaurant entrance and when the steak came I thought Ollie had made a mistake and ordered a whole cow. Veggies beware - if I see another lettuce leaf as the only non-steak option I'm going to punch someone.

The restaurant provided entertainment with a dodgy 80s soft rock cover band and by the time the cakes came out we must have drank enough wine to sink a small ship. Conga round the table while avoiding the flying cream cake (team Oz got a bit excited), followed by a cheesy club rounded off a great first night. Good job we sat outside otherwise we may have been barred. By the way the majority of people on this trip are over 30 so don't blame the young ones!

The second big birthday celebration happened a couple of nights later. Not to let one team member feel left out all of us accompanied him to a gay club. Brilliant night, first a drag show followed by some wicked tunes. However I now have my doubts about Ollie, he was the first one on the stage in the club, the one dragging birthday boy up there and although birthday boy confesses to being camp - he had nothing on Ollie. When we woke the next afternoon, 4 separate people asked me how "dancing queen" was. Go figure.

So how do I cheer myself up? I'm in BA darling...shop shop shop. My whole clubbing outfit- bling, shoes, belt, dress cost me £15. I love this city. I need a new bag now though - mine won't close.