South America

The drive to Copacabana took us past Lake Titicaca which is the highest navigable lake in the world and it is so huge it looks like an ocean. The views were amazing and the landscape was lush and green, with Inca terraces patterning the hillsides. We crossed a part of the lake in a little boat taxi while the truck was taken across on a bigger ferry.

Copacabana has a beach on the lake and quite a hippy community. The shops sold a lot of handmade jewelry, bags and hats, but Dee managed to resist. We bumped into a couple of familiar faces from our first leg, Shorty and Jemma from the original Team Oz, so we had a couple of cocktails with them before they had to leave by bus to their next destination.

Dee wanted to sort out the trucks medical kit that evening, so I went out for some food and a few drinks, which soon turned into a lot of drinks. All the bars in Copacabana close at 11pm, which was probably a good thing seeing as I had spent the last of the Bolivianos on booze. Carl, who hadn't drunk for 10 days, took his usual drunken position of slumped over asleep in the corner, while I managed to find some stickers and stick them all over Simon's back without him noticing. Unfortunately I had spent the money which I was supposed to buy Dee’s dinner with, so she wasn't happy with me coming back late, drunk and broke. She refused to talk to me for the next day when we crossed the border into Peru to see the floating islands of Uros.

After seeing the bustle of Potosi we didn't know what to expect when we got to La Paz. We were playing cards and drinking wine on the truck when we got to the outskirts of the city, but the game was quickly abandoned as we all looked out of the window in amazement of the chaos that was outside. Nearly every vehicle on the road was a minibus packed full of people like sardines. Every street was lined with market stalls selling everything from fake designer knickers to fake DIY equipment. La Paz is the highest capital city in the world and is located on top of a mountain in a basin, so when we got up to the lip we could see spectacular views over the whole city.

Like Potosi, every street had a common theme of shops. Our hotel was on 'fancy dress avenue' and the shops sold brilliant home made costumes, handy for our fancy dress party when we finish the Inca trail. Our hotel was really cool and had doorways and windows painted into the walls with spanishy sea views through them. Unfortunately we were on the top floor and there were no stairs and our bags are heavy, but the views from our room were cool. We could look out of our window for ages at the activity just on our road, but we decided to brave the crowds and go for a little walk. There were very few tourists here and La Paz felt like a proper South American city with very little western influence. Unlike Buenos Aires, we felt like we stood out like a sore thumb. The people didn't hassle us though, they just waited patiently while we looked at the strange things they were selling on their little stalls.

That night we had a group meal to say goodbye to 2 of the travellers and then we got a taxi to a couple of clubs. The clubs we went to were quite westernised, but we had a good time. We danced till late in a club called Mungo's. There was a 6.3 foot gay guy who fancied me and he kept following me around, but I think Rikki was encouraging him. After me and Simon had a dance off, I needed some fresh air and we left the club at 4am.

The next day we didn't have any plans so we walked around town. It was Sunday, so most of the shops were closed, but there was still quite a lot of activity and market stalls open. Our hotel was near the witches market where you can buy dried llama fetuses to put in the foundations of your new house for good luck. There was also dried frogs, cats and plenty of love potions and potions to make you rich. We walked around for a while and Dee bought some new sun glasses for £1.50.

There is a famous downhill mountain biking road just out of La Paz that is known as Death Road that has taken between 200-300 lives A YEAR. It was the most dangerous road in the world but there is now another road which goes in the same direction which is a lot safer, so all the cars go that way. The old road is still there and now it is just for mountain bikes. A few people on the truck have been looking forward to this for a long time but the only company which we are insured with (the only one to have never had any deaths) was fully booked. This means we had to book a dodgy company with dodgy bikes and, worryingly, we weren't insured for any accidents.

The next day the dodgy company picked us up from our hotel at 7am. We had an included breakfast at a nearby restaurant (toast! For the first time in 2 months!) and set off up the side of the La Paz basin. After an hours drive we were at the top of a tarmac road. We rode for a couple of hours before we were at death road, but the road was downhill all the way and on this surface I was going faster than I ever had been on a bike before. Dee was left behind right at the back going at a speed a snail would call slow. She arrived at the bottom about 30 mins after everyone else.

There was 30 mins or so uphill and when we got to the start of the death road, Dee was in two minds whether to continue or not. We were up in the clouds still and it was misty. She decided to continue, and when the mist cleared we saw why the road was called the most dangerous in the world. There was a sheer drop on one side of the road to the rainforest beneath. It was like the beginning of Romancing the Stone when they are on that really dangerous road. Some of the scenery was breathtaking and, because I was with Dee the snail, I had plenty of time to get out my camera and take some photos of the spectacular scenery and waterfalls. After an hour or so of going at Dees pace (I could have walked quicker) the groups split into three - fast, medium and slow. I was itching to go quicker so I joined the fast group and Dee stayed in the slow group. I sped off and within 10 mins I had come off the road twice, luckily the side nearest the wall, not the sheer drop. The surface was loose and slippery and I learned that you can only break on the straights; otherwise the corners could be treacherous.

After another hour or so of manic downhill biking through waterfalls and past graves on the road where people have died, we stopped for lunch. As we were resting and admiring the scenery there was a loud explosion. Everyone jumped round to see that the front tyre on my bike had exploded! I was lucky I wasn't on a dangerous corner. This was why we aren't insured with this company. 2 other people came off their bikes but weren't seriously injured. Dee fell off once but I imagine it was because she was going so slow she'd started to go backwards. The guides who were with her just laughed as she had to pick herself up and get back on her bike. The tour company did treat us well though, and after we had finished at 2pm (3pm for Dee) we were taken to a hotel where we could use their pool and eat dinner. The return journey took 3 hours because we had to go back up on the new road and our minibus was struggling on the steep incline. We got back at 8:15, 13 hours after we set off, having started at 5000m, down to 330m and 65km later. All for only £22, including a free t-shirt and photos on a CD. We left La Paz the next morning to cross over into Peru. Bolivia has definitely been an experience and is much more how I expected the whole of South America to be.

So after the amazing salt flats we headed to the highest city in the world, Potosi standing at 4070m. Potosi is an old colonial mining town, in its hey day it was an extremely rich town, in fact the name Potosi in Spanish means something very, very rich. Silver was its claim to fame.

It is still an active mining town - although now tin, lead, copper and lead are mined. It is a great town of narrow bustling streets perched on the side of a huge mountain.

I love Bolivia, each place has a real atmosphere and the people are really friendly. Most of all I love the female traditional outfits, the huge flared skirts and bowler hat combinations give off an essence of their culture. What I don't understand is their dislike of monopolies; it seems they thrive on competition. You wander through town and will hit jeans shop street, next road- plumbers tools street, next road - photocopy street. One road, 10 shops trying to sell the same thing- when was the last time you photocopied anything? I need to know, what are they photocopying?? That evening we visited restaurant street and karaoke bar street!

It was the last Friday of the month when we were their so local schools had majorette parades and the locals blessed 'Pachamama' (mother earth).

Although we had heard the horrible shocking stories of mine tours, mostly poor working conditions and child labour, we felt the need to see it for ourselves. Setting off mid afternoon we learned the mountain had been mined since 1545 and now had over 5000 separate entrances. It was a cooperative, each family owned a little bit of Mountain and the mining occupation passed down the family line. 12 was the youngest age legally allowed to work in the mine. Due to poor conditions, poisonous gases and dust, life expectancy is 15yrs from when they start mining. Extremely upsetting if you do the maths. This year, mining’s in a recession - so the families are struggling.

They work sunrise - sunset in the mines, often climbing several hundred metres down into small crevices, chewing cocoa leaves (the natural plant that is used to make cocaine) to stop them needing food and giving them energy to work. No machines, no power, no scaffolding to support the tunnels, this is basic mining. Ropes and pulley, wheelbarrow and man power gets the ore out. Hand made holes for dynamite creates new tunnels. They average 3 deaths a month and one accident a day from tunnels collapsing.

We visited miners street before heading into the mine, to stock up on gifts for them. Dynamite is really expensive at the moment for them to buy due to the recession but they can't work without it. We also bought cocoa leaves and 96% alcohol that they drink all day and use to bless Pachamama. Yes, we did just buy the dynamite off the street and the alcohol takes hairs 'off' your chest. Cocoa leaves are dried, you put a few in your mouth and chew them into a ball, a catalyst is added in the centre and they can last an hour - before you spit them out and start again. Imagine chewing raw green tea with gone-off bitter fish and your getting there. Dunno how it’s meant to make you feel, sick and hungry, looking like a hamster with a cheek pouch is the affect I got!

Hard hat on, torch in situ we head off in the mine. Hard, hard work trying to get to even the first miners, altitude, dust and pure western figures made scuttling down the tiny holes and avoiding the sheer drops difficult. A father and two teenage sons, working hard, greeted us, mining zinc, they were extremely grateful for their gifts. Further down, similar stories of families working hard. The tunnels got wetter and smaller, the climbs harder and the air more difficult to breathe. We were all glad to get out, a harsh insight into the world of Potosi miners.

How did the day end?- dynamite! We blew up a raw chicken and pumpkin outside the mine. Everyone was shocked at the thud in the chest the explosion gave and the enormity of the noise. Most people in the group suddenly became bilingual, offering French expletives, eg, fu@@ing hell!

We arrived at our hotel in Uyuni which was in the same building as the famous 'Minuteman Pizza' which we had been told numerous times is the best pizza in South America. I ate there that night and the pizza was pretty good, but the llama pieces were a bit tough. Afterwards we went for a drink at a bar called 'The Extreme Fun Pub', which had a drinking challenge where the best times were displayed on the wall. The challenge was to drink 10 drinks in the quickest time possible. 3 of the drinks contained a shot of 96% alcohol, one drink was in a special cup that mixed a bottle of beer with shots of gin, vodka, whiskey, rum and tequila as it was poured into the mouth. One of the aussies, Tim, agreed to do it before he had seen what it involved, and he had a big crowd around him cheering before he had a chance to back out. He did really well and managed a time of 2 minutes 20 seconds and his name on the wall. (The record is 32 seconds.)

Somehow, the next day he felt fine and we got in some jeeps to head off to the salt flats. I'd seen a lot of photos from the salt flats and the best ones involve some cool perspective trickery because of the stark, white, unchanging landscape. We borrowed a toy dinosaur from the hotel to include in some pictures. First of all we visited a salt factory to see a woman and her young daughter packing salt into bags for less than £3 a day. Then went onto the salt flats to see the salt mines, which were basically men shoveling salt into the back of trucks. The sun was very bright and it reflects off the salt so we had to make sure we put sun cream on the inside of our noses to stop them getting burned.

We had a quick lunch at a hotel made out of blocks of salt and then drove for ages until we couldn't see anything except sky and salt. Here everyone got out and started coming up with imaginative perspective photos. It was great fun collaborating with people to try and get the angles right and some of the photos looked amazing. The whole landscape was so surreal it was hard for our eyes to adjust to the lack of objects to judge distance. It was like being in a dream or on an alien planet.

On the way back to the hotel we stopped at a local train graveyard for sunset and more pictures. I'd been looking forward to the salt flats for a long time and this was definitely one of my favourite days so far on the trip.

The border to Bolivia lies on the edge of San Pedro so within minutes we were in the 'no mans land'. This was when the landscape started to get bleaker, colder and much, much higher.

Heeding the warnings of 'altitude sickness' most of us had stopped the booze and were doubling our water intake (6lits day). If you’re at home, work or anywhere else other than on a bus with 23 other (good bladder capacity) people on the flattest, no tree/bolder/loo shelter landscape I have ever seen, would be fine. I tried my best to match others loo stops but 1hr 10 was the longest I lasted, with considerable pain. People were using my wee stops like a sun dial- 'wow, half an hour passed already'. I tried in vain to look for hiding places - trust me - they do not exist.

But, despite the embarrassment, I didn't even get a headache. That day we reached the highest pass of 5020m (from 2436m) and it was surprising how the altitude gets you. People were acting drunk and giddy at first, then most got headaches. Just sitting was exhausting - you had to try to remember to breathe regularly. We stopped for lunch at the high part, it took twice as long to set up the kitchen as walking around was like having drank a bottle of whiskey (don't be righteous and pretend you don't know that spinning head/room feeling). Actually in all seriousness a couple of the guys were really ill, vomiting and disorientated, equating the feeling to severe flu with a knife sticking in the head. We'd passed the high point so we just had to carry on bringing them down, actually only 500m down, most symptoms had settled.

So why drive through this hostile and frankly, knackering piece of earth?! Its stunning. Driving through a flat valley you are surrounded by giant snow capped mountains, mineralised water gathers in massive pools to form huge powerfully colourful lakes - Laguna Verde (turquoise), Laguna Blanca (clear hot spring) and Laguna Colorado (blood red). Groups of flamingos (yes, pink) gather round the waters edge, intermittently taking flight overhead. So what if the colourful lakes are severely poisonous due to arsenic - its the same with all bright things in nature, the prettier the deadlier. Looks good on photos though.

That night, half way through the Altiplano we stayed in a small non tourist settlement on Villimar. Mainly an agricultural farm of quinoa, most villagers were intrigued by western visitors. After dinner the local head teacher brought round some students to sing and play music for us – actually, by the looks of them, he abruptly woke them up and made them play! But we ended up feeding them homemade chips and cheese, which their smiles told us they enjoyed. And the fact they asked for a doggie bag of any other dinner leftovers.

One of the head villagers took us for an early morning walk through his community. The first thing we saw, just off the main square were the untouched remains of half an aeroplane that had crashed 15 yr prior, killing all on board. The next was a small cave with 3 mummified bodies that had been found on top of the nearby mountain, again just off the main square. We were told they we tribesmen. The skulls showed at least adolescent age, but limbs and feet were Childlike- tiny statures. Weird? Yes, slightly scary? Yes, intriguing and fascinating - definitely. Which is probably why he showed the tourists something so gross. He made up for it with a walk round the village and a trip to the school - all niceness, no dead things.

Later that day we visited 'San Cristóbal' a 'new' town on the tourist tail. The history of the town made me quite uncomfortable. Granted, the story was one sided, but the guide told how the original town had sat on a massive potential wealth of silver. The locals were hand mining the silver but for survival, not great economic wealth. A massive Canadian firm realised the lands potential and demanded the town moved, villagers obviously refused so the company upped the ante, in the end the offer of electricity, a new school and running water was too hard for the villagers to resist. A new town was born the original area was handed over lock, stock and barrel to the corporation. All for the simple things we take for granted. This wasn't years ago - San Cristóbal is only 5 yrs old. In fairness, the company had some respect for the local culture. They moved the original church brick by brick including the inner art work using the latest technology, and each body from the cemetery was carefully relocated at a cost of thousands. A part of me thinks this highlights how humans have respect for others; the cynic in me believes there must be a hell of a lot of money sat under that land.

Onwards, and downwards, from the Altiplano to the Bolivian salt flats- and a hotel with solar heated showers, ooooh! What did I say above about materialism??!