Chile

Dee wasn't up for the sandboarding so me, Gaz and Claire got a 9 o'clock excursion to a place just outside town where there was a huge sand dune. There was a path leading up to the top and depending on how far you walk up, the sand dune got higher and steeper. Our guide couldn't speak English and he was too busy chatting up another Spanish girl anyway, so he gave us the advice of 'lean back', gave us the boards and wax and then left us to it. Luckily the sand was really soft and falling over was almost as fun as shooting off down the hill. Claire was the only one who had done snowboarding before and I think it worked to her disadvantage because it took her a while to grasp the leaning back thing. As we got more confident we moved further up the sand dune until it got slightly out of our comfort zone so we sat on the boards instead, which actually went faster. We had 4 hours on the dune for £12. By the end of the session there wasn't 1 orifice that wasn't completely filled with sand. Dee would have hated it. Apparently there's somewhere in Peru which has bigger dunes - I'm definitely up for that, but after seeing the state of me when I got back, I think Dee will choose to stay away again.

After driving for what seemed like days without seeing any sign of civilization we finally arrived in San Pedro de Atacama. Atacama is a huge desert in northern Chile and right in the middle lies a small oasis town on the Bolivian border at 2436m high - San Pedro.

As we drove into town it had the appearance of an African village, small one story terracotta mud huts with grass decorations. The lanes were barely wide enough to fit our truck and the bright colours of Dragoman seemed to overpower this small, quaint, traditional town.

It had been a week since the last hotel, cold desert nights with cold showers (if any) and I was desperate for a wash and a soft bed. Upgrades were not available so I was stuck with my cold, smelly, green canvas house. I wasn't happy so decided that a glass of wine might cheer me up.

Being in the desert, water is really restricted, in fact, on the way here we had passed a derelict town that had been abandoned due to lack of water. San Pedro was having one of its worst droughts for years so the water in camp was on for only 2hrs at night and then, although its hot, you have to get wet, stop the water to soap up/shave/shampoo, then turn it back on to rinse. The most horrendous experience. Its cold, you're teased by the hot water, then have to turn it off and freeze as the cold desert wind whips around the corner in the outdoor shower.

We headed into town for a group meal that evening to be greeted by a transformation. The town was glinting with decorative lights, buzzing with people and open fires in the restaurants gave a great ambiance. It did well to tranquilise my mood and we had great food with live Chilean music then went to a bar with a giant fire pit for drinks to warm up prior to the cold canvas of our tent. I had alcohol warmth, my sleeping bag, sleeping liner, socks and thermals but still I couldn't get warm. Tried to steal some of Ollies body heat by cuddling him but he snapped; your snorings too loud. (Its the altitude - I don't snore).

Next morning we decided to hire bikes and head to see the nearby pre-Inca town ruins. 8 of us headed out and after about half an hour me and Ollie were struggling. Every time I tried to go uphill my gears gave way, and Ollie had thought pedaling at altitude was impossible - until he realised his back break was stuck on! So me and Ollie had to lag behind - the crap bikes, not our fault. 40min out of town we found the ruins and a moutain at the side. I walked up the long way round, I quite like my legs working and not broken. Ollie decided to just go up on loose ground, with sheer drops - he's ok, but I've never seen him look more knackered when he got to the top! Lunch and photo stop then we headed back to town. The guy in the bike shop tried to give us our money back but we just took a free ice cream instead - aren't we nice?!

The next day Ollie woke up early to go sandboarding so I had the whole tent to myself. The best sleep I've had for ages!

That evening we headed into moon valley, a rock formation just outside town, so named as it looks like the surface of the moon. Its made from mineral deposits in the rocks and is dotted with salt mines. Its possible to see 26 volcanoes from a high point at moon valley. At sunset the colours come out in the rocks and it looks amazing. We were running late though and as the truck pulled up we ran to the top of a large hill (not easy at altitude) to find that we'd missed the sunset. Bummer. Still looked spectacular though.

So that's Chile finished - crossing the border tomorrow to see what bolivian delights await us.

We were heading into a national park and then a desert, so facilities and shops would be scarce/expensive and we had to stock up for the next 5 days. Because we were ascending rapidly from sea level to over 5000m in 3 driving sessions, to stop altitude sickness we need to double our water intake. The huge hypermarket we went to sold everything from food to car tyres. We loaded the truck with 5 days food and as much water as we could carry and then headed into Pan de Azúcar National Park. The beach road we travelled along was unpaved and bumpy, but the scenery was amazing. There were huge rock formations jutting out of the sand like shards of glass. We stopped for lunch on the beach where the waves were crashing violently into the coast. I saw a sea otter swimming leisurely in the rough sea (too quick for the camera) and there was also a solitary sea lion sunbathing nearby on a rocky outcrop.

That night we camped on the beach and the next day we started our ascent into the Atacama desert which is one of the driest places on Earth. We bush camped by the road and Vernon reminded us that if he beeps the horn on the truck we have to drop everything and get on the truck as soon as possible, in case some locals decide to turn up with their guns and cause trouble. That didn't really put people at ease, but the location was pretty. Me and Dee were feeling energetic so we climbed up a hill to watch the sunset over the camp and then had to scramble down in the dark. Luckily Vernon didn't need to use the horn that night.

La Serena is a beach town popular with Chilians. It is the first chance we had to swim in the Pacific and it is freeeeezing. I went in anyway because the weather was hot and the waves were huge. I had fun getting wiped out until I couldnt feel my extremities any more so we chilled on the beach for a bit. I had a quick nap on the sand and woke to feel the familiar tightness of sunburn, so we left the beach to go back to the campsite while Dee prepared dinner.

The next morning the whole right side of my body had turned a lobster pink colour. I wasnt the only one though, at least 2 other people had got burnt. Suzies feet and legs had swollen and blistered pretty badly and she couldnt walk for the next few days.

After 2 nights we left La Serena to go to Vicuna, where the observatory is. On the way (at 10am) we stopped to look round a Pisco factory. Pisco is the national drink of Chile and we learned that it is basically under-distilled brandy. The usual way of drinking them is in a Pisco sour, which is mixed with egg and lemon juice. I dont like it.

The campsite we arrived at at Vicuna was only about an hour from our last one so we had to unload all the stuff again and put up the tents. Dee needed to go to the pharmacy (as usual) so we got a lift into town. Well, I say "town", but it was actually only a few shops selling crap (Dee bought some new earrings) and some unclean cafes around a central square. We sat in the square for a while, while Dee moaned about how bored she was and then went back to the campsite. The campsite had a pool, but i was too burned to go out in the sun so i had to sit in the shade and sleep for a while.

That night we left to go to the observatory and as we left the exit to the campsite, James, one of the new aussies, told Vernon that he saw some suspicious people lurking about on the other side of the river next to the camp. Vernon said it would be a good idea to load all the bags back onto the truck, so we reversed back into the camp and got out to get our bags. Emily noticed that her tent was undone and ran to check that her bags were ok. They werent. Hers and Kates large bags had been stolen. I spotted a couple of dodgy men crossing the river and shouted "Oi" at them. They started to run and Vernon and James lept into the river fully clothed to try to catch them. The men took off down the opposite side of the river and 4 or 5 of us ran down the other bank to try to keep an eye on where they were headed. They disappeared into the woods and we lost track of them.

We hurried back to the camp and some people had spotted what looked like a bag on the opposite bank, so Gaz took off his shorts and waded across the river to get them. Most of the bags were found abandoned, but there was still no sign of Vernon and James, so me and Gaz acted the heroes and waded across to try to find them. On the other side of the woods was a large vinyard and we crept about looking under the vines to try and see some sign of movement. It reminded me a bit of the bit in "The Beach" where Leonardo DeCaprio is being chased by cocaine dealers through a cocaine farm. We came across a couple of (non-cocaine) famers and they pointed enthusiastically back where we had come from to signal that was where our friends were. We were confused and worried now because we had been calling out but we hadnt heard anything and we turned back to try to find some more clues. At that moment we heard shouting and spotted James at the end of the lane jumping over a metal fence. Gaz and me ran over to him and James explained that they had caught one of the robbers and locked him in a portaloo! We followed James until we saw Vernon sitting at the door of the loo while the robber was banging to try to escape. It was decided that I should run back and get more people so we could transport the prisoner back to the campsite. I got Ian and Simon to come with me (Carl cant swim, and the river runs pretty fast) and the 3 of us legged it to the portaloo.

The robber was locked in the temporary cell and could see us through the air holes at the top. We put on a show of banging the sides and shouting at him. Ive got a moheican at the moment and can look pretty threatening when I want to. I put on my famous serial killer face and signalled that he was going to die. He started crying (pretending) and explained that he has a sick child. We didnt give him much sympathy because if we hadnt come back to the camp he would have taken all of our bags. We prepared the transport party and I found a baseball bat sized piece of wood to hold menacingly. The prisoner was quite compliant. Vernon actually told me to stop holding the rod so threateningly because I was scaring the guy too much. We passed the farmers who told us to go in the wrong direction and I gave them a free dose of the serial killer look and they quickly hurried on doing their farming stuff.

We managed to get the robber back safely and all the bags had been found so we waited for the police while the criminal complained that his foot hurt and tried begging us to let him go. Emily swore at him in Spanish a lot. Eventually the police came and took the guy along with Emily and Kate to the station to make a statement. Apparently it wasnt the first time he had robbed the campsite and he had had 3 warnings so he was facing 3 and a half years in jail.

We hung around the central square watching some breakdancers while Emily filed the papers and, luckily, we still had time to go to the late showing at the observatory, so one of the policemen gave us a police escort there. The stars werent the brightest we had seen because the moon was out, but the guide did point out the Southern Cross, Leo, Virgo, Scorpio, Orion and we looked at Saturn and the Moon through the big telescope.

We had a full day drive to get to Santiago so to liven up the truck I decided to celebrate Easter with everyone. I bought real eggs for everyone and multiples of pens, coloured paper and glitter. We had an hour to turn the eggs into minature caractures of ourselfs. This was no mean feat on the truck, when any slightest bump sends you flying a foot into the air. There was glitter everwhere but everone joined in and enjoyed it, the prize, a chocolate bunny, went to a very strange design where Valerie had covered her egg in silver foil with a pink bandana - maybe she thinks shes an alien but then she is a little strange...

Next stop was a winery just outside Santiago - 'Manuel Torres' wines. Cool to see the process and did get to try them but tight is not the word - practically one sip each! Do not go if you expect a free booze session! Ollie stuck his little finger out and tried to look like he knew what he was doing when tasting them - he obviously didn't.

Arriving in Santiago it was cool to see western style buildings with more than one floor. Its a massive bustling city. This was the last night of this leg and we were also saying bye to Luca our tour leader who had been brilliant, so staying in a hotel allowed for hot showers and the glad rags to go on! I loved it, after weeks of dressing like a man and cold showers I was in the lap of luxury. Plus champagne is £5 for the dearest bottle so I sipped that while getting the bling on - I love Chile! The hotels we stay in are 3 star, no air con, no mini bar, no little free toiletries, but to us they feel like 6 star.

There was a little truck thing where the boys wanted mohecans so I became the truck barber, Simon suited it, Ollie looked like a footy hooligan and definitely got fearful reactions from locals!

We all headed to the bar district 'Bellavista' to a lovely restaurant with live music and also met the new Dragoman guide for the next leg. Everyone was on top form and we 'suprisionly' headed for drinks after. Being a large group some of the trendy bars wouldn't let us in but we found a bar that looked cool. We all walked in - 26 gringos from all walks of life to be greeted by a sea of puzzled faces, silence and no men. Yep, definitely a lesbian bar. I asked the manager if she minded us being there and she was fine with it, so it was drinks all round and a live drag show - wicked. I have no idea how but Simon managed to pull in there, she left her girlfriend for him - maybe I'm better at mohecans than I thought - or maybe I made him look more like a girl?! Onto a club, more drinks and even good old Chuck, a 60yr old ozzy stayed with us till dawn on his last night after doing the whole Santiago to Santiago loop.

Yet again I missed the morning welcome meeting for the next leg as it felt like someone in the night had smashed me in the head with a hammer and a kind animal had left a not so nice present in my mouth. Ollie made it, although reports from others tell me was only there in body, at the polite introductions to the new people he grunted, 'I'm Ollie, my girlfriends unconscious and I wanna go back to bed'.

I slept most of that day, I have no idea what they put in the cocktails but now I only drink wine.

Santiago is great for going out and shopping but not cheap, and there is little else to do there. So can you blame us when we decided on the next night to go back to Bellavista for drinks?! Great contemporary clubs with fantastic music, we found one that used to be a strip club so the pole amused us all for hours. I must say though, it was mainly the boys flashing their wears and i'm proud to annouce that not once did I go near it; see, sensible wine!

We got back one hour before we had to be back on the truck ready for the drive to La Serena. So after being so delighted being in a hotel, I managed one night out if 3 actually in a bed!

So after a delayed start we finally made it to Pucon. Crossing the border into Chile it was amazing how the scenery changed, from the Argentinian Lake District into the deep green lava made valleys punctuated by single standing snow topped volcanoes. Even the monotonous border crossing, typically asking for all bags to be unloaded and x-rayed (while they fail to look at the x-rays just oggle the girls), was made pleasant by the overbearing volcano right opposite.

Pucon is a pure tourist town, its only industry is tourism and the only courses the uni offers are tourism related. Why is it so popular with us gringos? Read on...

We stayed in a beautiful hostel, which was actually the owners family house. Pet dogs, groomed and collered, greeted us happily and wood stoves burned throughout, giving the place a real feel of home. The owner cooked steak or veggie stir fry for us all as we settled for the night. Tomorrow was going to be a challenge.

The forcast was good, no rain and clear blue skies. Some people had been waiting for this opportunity for weeks, we had dropped on perfect conditions. This made me nervous - I had no excuse to back out, I was doubtful I could do it, and I hate failing.

Volcano Villarrica dominates the skyline at Pucon. An active volcano standing 2,847m high, its snowcapped year round. Today was the day we were gonna battle the beast. Our info told us it was a 4am start, an 8 hour hike and you reached the top, people told us 'good luck, its the hardest thing you'll ever do' (except for Machu Pichu in a few weeks time). Ollie was desperate to conserve backpack weight, 'my SLR is heavy, i'll just take my digital compact camera and no apple - they weigh a lot'. 'Yeah, you'll really notice that extra half kilo on top of the 15kg we're carrying anyway' came my reply. The backpack they gave us included waterproof lined pants and jacket, crampons, ice axe, gaters & snow slide, we provided 2.5l water and food for the day. Ollie had lots and lots of sweets and chocolate.

So 4am and we're off bleary eyed, head torches on. 5am we arrived at the base and it was freezing, until 3 sec into the walk! Ollie was already panting and I was GRUMPY. 'Why the hell have I paid money to sweat, freeze and be in pain.... I've got a bloody bed at home' was the general theme. The walk was a constant steep slope but on loose ash so, one step forward 4 steps back, and when you stoped for a drink your sweat turned icy cold and shivers set in. But, much to the whole groups amazement, an hour in and I was loving it! I think I must be part horse, blinkers work wonders. The darkness disguised what nastiness lay ahead, so I just carried on merrily - not one to moan, from me that is. He was not happy, 'It hurts, we've done miles, I need another kilo of chocolate'. 'Just round this corner Ollie.....'

We rested at sunrise for breakfast, as the sky lit up it revealed surrounding volcanoes, only two weeks previously it had been possible to see the lava flow from one. The view was breathtaking, amazed at how far we had come we got another surge of energy. Crampons went on for the ice climb, almost vertical and a gruelling 1.5hr trek then a short rest and the last accent. A 2hr vertical rock climb up loose lava, (totally unsafe, totally exhilarating) and we had made it. Ollie was in pain and not happy. I'd just had the best experience of my life and felt 'well chuffed' with myself.

We lunched on top of the volcano looking into its eye, seeing hot steam evaporate and breathing the acrid sulphur fumes, and then started the long trek down. Once we got to the ice part we were allowed to slide down instead of walking. Ollie zoomed off into the distance on the massive ice slide, but for some reason, no matter what I did I couldn't budge. Maybe its my penchant for bread or the bottle of wine a night, but the ice simply refused to move me. As I was sat, stuck in the middle of the slide, after being hit in the back by several other people, the guide tried to help me to stop potential violence breaking out. He ended up running down the ice with me glamourously holding onto his ski pole, rolling from side to side and often getting a mouthfull of slush. Not the best part of the day.

In daylight, the base seemed miles away, my adrenaline had ran out and it was hard. After succeeding you want a large pisco sour and an air lift out, but not having access to either, I shut up and put up, then celebrated with a car park picnic of coke and chocolate. Almost good enough.

I loved it. Ollie hated it. I thought Torres Del Pain was harder, Ollie thought Torres was nothing compared. Each to their own!

That night we headed up to the natural thermal springs to celebrate our victorious battle with a large glass (bottle) of wine, allowed the bath-temperature water to soothe our aches and gazed at the endless stars.

So after such exertion, day off right?! No way, not in Pucon.

Ollie got out of bed and instantly fell to the floor, screaming in pain saying his legs didn't work. I think he had a little muscle fatigue - man style. Its ok I told him, cos today you'll not need your legs, its your arms youre gonna knacker up - white water rafting!

The rivers a grade 3-4 (up to 6 which is impassable), so my initial idea of sitting in a boat relaxing as it went down rapids was blown away - it was hard work.

Starting in a carpark, in the cold and rain, we stripped off, helped each other squeeze into a wetsuit and helmet and after a quick lesson it was time. My favourite command was 'left left' where the people on the right had to jump up, dive to the other side of the boat and hang off to stop the boat tipping over! The first rapid was a waterfall so we all had to dive into the centre of the boat to keep it stable. The next rapid almost caused the raft to turn but somehow I didn't fall out as I'd hooked my leg under the seat, but found myself getting dunked in the water, half out the boat with it above me at right angles. Try as I might to follow commands I just had the giggles for the whole 3 hours.

Half way down there was a grade 6 waterfall that we couldn't pass, so we got out off the boat and had to do a 5m cliff jump into the freezing water to rejoin the boats. Standing on the edge it looked higher than 5m, but Ollie had already done it so I wasn't going to look like a chicken! Held my nose and off I went - felt like I was falling for ages, went miles underwater and got disorientated. My faith in the life jacket prevailed and I popped up in the water - the next challenge, how do you swim in a lifejacket? - with difficulty and no dignity!

At the end the arm pain equalled the previous days leg pain and the 3hrs of constant hard rowing had shattered us, but a pisco sour later and our team was buzzing - the most fun day I think i've ever had.

So off to Santiago, Easter and the end of another leg of our journey.

Bariloche is a popular ski resort, famous for its chocolate shops, but it was off season and there wasn't any snow. There are hundreds of chalets, or bungalows, all built in a swiss ski resort style. We arrived at our log cabin style hostel (with jacuzzi) to be told that they didn't have room for us, so Luca had to find somewhere else for us to stay. Fortunately the chalets that he found were even better than the hostel. 6 of us had our own little house with 2 bathrooms and a kitchen. There was also a table tennis table (which I won at) and table football table (which I lost against Jurgen the German). Dee was still on her "deetox" so everyone else went out for a meal at a famous steak restaurant and left Dee to watch chick flicks in her pants. The steak at the restaurant was probably the best I've ever had and it came with a mountain of crispy fries - yummy. Luca, as usual, had his steak 'blue' which means its cooked for only a second on each side. It looked like he was eating the meat straight out the packing - it would have made Dee feel ill.

Mac has an affinity for Irish pubs and it was happy hour all night so we drank a lot of cocktails before heading out to a club. Carl and Simon didn't beak from traditiion and got absolutely wasted. I had a cocktail that required drinking with a handful of sugar but I had too much sugar so, as a joke, I tipped it on Carls hair and blamed it on Mac. By the time I had come back from the bar, Carl had turned a deep purple colour and he had a look of madness in his eyes, like the Hulk. He was about to attack Mac. I had to calm him down and tell him it was me that did it really, and now its become a running joke on the truck that sugar makes Carl mad.

I didn't get in till 530am, Carl and Simon had to be taken home earlier, Simon minus 1 flip flop. Predictably, we didn't manage to hire bikes the next day. I felt a bit rough so we walked round the shops and bought some chocolate and a big burger and went home early. It felt strange sitting on the sofa and watching tv after so long.

We headed out early the next day. After about an hour we slowed down to go through a guard station and suddenly there was a huge bang, like a gunshot. After a few seconds of everone looking alarmed, someone shouted "fire!" and then there was panic on the truck, especially by some of the people that weren't there when the wheels fell off on the previous leg. It was funny seeing how people react to that situation, Chris even went to the extent of shoving Mac out of the way when he was trying to get the fire extinguishers off the truck. We all jumped out to see flames under the truck. One of the wheels had caught fire and exploded. It looked like we were having another night in Bariloche. That evening we went to a mexican restaurant, but I was still hungover so I didn't drink. We left Bariloche at 5am the next day to make up for the lost time. I thought about bursting a crisp packet when we got to the same point the tyre exploded the day before, but I was advised it wouldn't be funny.

Even though Tierra Del Fuego is still in Argentina, we need to pass through a little corner of Chile to get there, which means 2 border crossings. Border crossings take ages and are a pain in the arse. When crossing into Chile we arent allowed to take any fresh food or animal produce. Depending on the mood of the guards we have to take all our bags off the truck and have them scanned, or have the truck searched for any food/guns/drugs/animals. The guards purposely take ages to look at your passport and there is always a queue. We spent over 2 hours at the first one so we chucked a rugby ball about for a while to pass the time.

Rather than go through another border crossing that day we decided to bush camp in Chile and cross into Argentina the next day. We drove around looking for somewhere by the road that we could pitch our tent, and we saw what looked like an abandoned army camp and turned into it. Immediately we were confronted by a few young-looking soldiers and Luca jumped out of the truck to go and talk to them. Everyone thought we were in trouble with the Chilian Army but Luca came back and told us that the guard said it should be OK if we use their old gym hall to sleep in. The soldiers were youngsters doing their national service and guarding a disused army camp. The soldiers couldnt speak any English and all came out to stare and wave at us like we were mad. The atmosphere was a bit wierd and exciting, as we were in the middle of nowhere in what looked like a dilapidated, scary soviet base from some bad horror movie. The gym they let us use used to be a basketball court and was in some state of disrepair but it was shelter from the wind and cold so it was a perfect place to camp. Everyone was in a good mood, for some people it was their last bush camp before their trip ends at Ushuaia. We put some tunes on and people danced as they made food. Later on, after a few drinks, we moved into the scary back room and everyone put their head torches on flash mode and we had a little disco before bed.

The next day we left early to cross the Straight of Magellan to get to the border crossing into Argentina again. Apparently dolphin sightings are common but we didnt see any.